Silvia and abortion. And then off to see the stars published in the Daily Compass 03/01/2011
last Saturday and received at the meeting the members of the Pontifical Academy for Life, Pope Benedict XVI spoke of abortion as a first deception for life and for women (especially health care), and then drew the doctors to their commitment to life and society as a whole to a greater commitment to mothers who had abortions. In Italy's post-abortion syndrome, many centers deal with from time to time in support of life, perhaps by relying directly to some local psychologist, and systematic associations such as Rachel's Vineyard and The Gift. Thanks to The Gift
meet Silvia, 34, in his hometown, New York: an abortion behind him, a future ahead, "because death does not have the last word, as it continues to repeat the words, and the eyes during the interview.
did not want children or have decided prejudicially abortion after discovering she is pregnant?
I had always proclaimed against abortion, but that test was positive so unexpected that, minutes after seeing the results, the question posed to myself "now what?" that thought has crept, almost obvious, in a heart beat of another: "First of all I have to tell him . And anyway, you can always stop. "
When did you discover feelings of being pregnant that you lived?
astonishment prevailed over everything I had experienced a moment of intimacy in recent years, at a meeting with my ex-boyfriend. And that night I got pregnant. I am the wonder followed shortly fear and confusion ...
The choice of abortion you have shared with the father of your child or you were left alone? I was surprised and a bit 'scared of something so great and so far from my programs. I searched for reassurance, but I look in the wrong place: now he has not wanted to know. But what is worse, in retrospect, that was not done by now: he wanted me to convince me that abortion was the best decision for me, for him, even for the child. We spent entire nights talking and I felt that, however painful, his reasons were reasonable. As for me, alternating moments when everything seemed clear to the interruption of pregnancy with others in which everything seemed equally clear, but say the opposite, so that once I called the hospital to cancel everything. Ritelefonai But two days later, convinced that this was not the best choice, but the only possible one. I felt alone, confused and distressed, and I wanted everyone to pass. I just wanted my life back to normal.
He accompanied me to the hospital, was there before and after surgery. After he began to disappear. I was more evil, the more he went away. We were friends for 16 years, had a history of 2, I thought there was a strong bond between us. I have not heard.
What made you born?
My rebirth occurred in the hands of God, which manifested itself in more people and more time. Of this I will never be grateful enough. A key role they had, in different ways, a priest friend, a psychologist, and especially the women and men of "The Gift". With them were helped to make truth, not only on my abortion, but on my life, because I realized that my "no" to that son was unexpected from a distance. It was not a bolt from the blue, but the outcome of many other wastes, the gesture of a logical mind that, until then, I did not belong to me.
The Pope urged the doctors not to deceive mothers with abortion. Even for you, abortion is a hoax?
Yes, because who does it seems the only way viable and instead there is always another way. It is a deception because the person who does plan to put things back as before, but always change a child's life. And a son who enters ever deeper into the heart and soul, but you never see grow and embrace, and this for your choice, it is something that disrupts your life.
How could the doctors and what they could do for you?
could do a lot. Also addressing the women who turn to their associations and institutions to be able to listen with patience and care. In my case, although the visit was crying like a fountain, the response I had to ice my "I'm not sure you want to do," was a dry "is not my problem." The doctor who started the process not even asked me the reasons for my turn to him. I think it would be important to feel welcomed and listened to my fears and my doubts.
A mother who is now in your situation, then what would you say?
First of all, to congratulate! I would try to shift its perspective from seeing the news as a problem to an opportunity to see her joy. And before any advice, listen, I would put at his side, I would say: "Let's talk. How do you feel, what worries you, what are your thoughts? ". I promise not to remain alone ...
post-abortion syndrome is little studied, but it exists. How are "surviving" to your abortion ?
After the abortion I wanted to die. I felt a pain, a sense of emptiness and a sense of guilt so great that I thought it was a hell to live. The human journey of faith and co "The Gift" and with my spiritual father accompanied my conversion: I was taught that pain, and another death, though not physical, I would not remedy my mistake, I would returned life to my son, nor would I honored the memory of his short life. Putting into practice all that but thanks to him I have learned and learn every day, get in the game to become a better person, put the school in order to live a life full of love and authentic, I can do this and do it for him. At least I try. The Sacrament of Reconciliation was a milestone because it was to carry the transformation of my gaze.
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